I’ve been a SAHM ( stay at home mom) for almost 3 years. I started even before River was born due to a few reasons. There has been a lot of trial and error along the way. I’ve battled depression and loneliness. I’ve learned several ways to make being a stay at home mom the enjoyable experience I had hoped it would be. It just takes a little time to get figure out how to live your life in a different way then you are use to and follow these five tips.
1. Getting out of the house
This is the biggest thing for me! I was so lonely and felt cut off from the world. My high school friends had gone off to collage and I had chosen motherhood and marriage. I joined some local mom groups on Facebook that had meet ups, it was a nice way to get out of the house with the little in tow or sometimes they do mom nights where mommy got some adult time.
I also found a friend that lived above my grandma in law. We meet up every Friday at a kid friendly place to let the little ones interact with other children and we can have adult talk. Some times we go over to have lunch with them or they come over to play with our house full of animals, I swear I run a zoo. Since we’re both stay at home moms it is great for both of us. It also helps our toddlers learn to interact with others their age.
I don’t always go out with someone, sometimes its just me and River. My favorite thing to do together is go to our local Mexican restaurant for lunch. We also pack a picnic and go to the park, go for walks around the block, and many other things. Heck, even going to the grocery store can help with the cabin fever.
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2. Having a schedule
I’m guilty of just laying around in my PJ’s and grabbing something quick to feed me and River. On days that I get up and get ready I feel great and get much more done. My morning routine consist of getting dressed, washing my face and brushing my hair. If I’m really ambitious I’ll do my make up as well. Then I make me and River a healthy breakfast and get started on chores.
I add activities and toddler school through out the day for River. Nap time is when I get any deep cleaning or projects done, since it can be hard with a toddler running around. This is also the time that we get out of the house.
In the evening I make dinner and then we start out bed time routine. We do bath time and then I read River a story before bed. This is also when she get to spend time with her dad. After she’s in bed I get some me time.
3. Me time
Sometimes as moms we forget to take care of ourselves. We’re to busy taking care of the kids, husband and house. I put River to bed around 8:30 and enjoy a little me time before I cuddle with Cody in bed. My favorite thing to do is take a bubble bath with candles. I either take my phone with me or a book to help me wind down for the night.
I try to find some time in the middle of the day to even sit down and have a cup of tea or do a little yoga. This really helps bring down my stress levels and helps me make it through the evening hours. I try to even meditate, but that usually ends in my remembering all the things I need to do, not so relaxing!
Every birthday, anniversary or certain holidays Cody get me a gift certificate for a massage. He then takes River while I enjoy the massage. It’s seriously one of the best presents he can give me. Just the fact that I’m getting out of the house alone reminds me that I have a life outside of being a mom.
4. Meet some mom friends
I’ve already touched on this subject, but it’s very important. Mom friends didn’t become part of my life until a year ago. I had a mom friend from high school who unfortunately moved about 3 hours away last year. This made me become very lonely and depressed from no social life, which was a big change for me. I joined some facebook mom groups, went out to places that other mom and kids went, got lucky with meeting a mom friend through family, and I also have a sister who is a new mom.
Surprisingly my sister is has been the biggest help making me feel less alone. She stays several day in a row at my house and we take the kids out to do things constantly. So keep in mind that sometimes you don’t have to look far for a mom friend.
5. Find a hobby
Sewing was the first hobby I discovered as a stay at home mom. It let me be creative and benefit our house as well. DIY projects is another thing I’ve started playing with. I re-did our nightstands and coffee tables. Made a farm house sign for my kitchen since I love farm house decor. I’m hoping to start some other projects shortly. It doesn’t always have to be a productive hobby either. Go join a yoga class, go to local paint nights, ect. Anything that you really enjoy and helps you keep your identity outside of being a mom.
Staying home can be mentally and physically exhausting. Just remember there are ways to make it more enjoyable and keep your sanity. It takes time to adjust, but once you get the hang of it you will do amazing and it’s so worth that time with your sweet babies.